PRE-OBLIGATORY FINAL POST

We all know it's going to come, probably on one of my last nights here, a lengthy final word, so to speak. But I’ve been thinking about what I’d say for a couple of days, and this pre-obligatory-final post is inspired by what Vanessa said:

i'm so enviuos
you've been away for a year nad lived in another country
and travellde to so many other places*

This was said when I told her I had some crazy deju vu in Korea. “Korea twice? I don’t think so,” is what I said.

Korea brings about mixed feelings. I think most of the negativity towards the experience stems from the fact that I live in Busan. The sun, the beach and the ocean during the summer months all kind of washed aside the negative aspects about living in a smaller city. As soon as winter crept in, and after many visits to Seoul, I truly saw what this city was lacking: culture. It’s all Lego block apartments and concrete wastelands. It even says in the one of the travel books about Korea that Busan frowns upon the arts and focuses more on the business side of things. I think that if I lived in Seoul I’d be singing a more positive tune. Busan is to Seoul what Ottawa is to Toronto: a nice place to visit, but a place I would never want to live. Seoul is this amazing culture hotpot, brimming with a music and film scene and really attractive Koreans. (A lengthy post about Seoul is coming.) Even Kiran, who came to Busan mainly for the beaches, said he wished he lived in Seoul.

I have been away for a year and lived in another country, which in itself is pretty cool, but I’m really disappointed in myself because I really have nothing to show for it. My creativity has kind of been…stunted. I’m always inspired when I’m in Seoul, but as soon as I return to Busan a form of…I don’t know, disappointment? sets in. And I can’t place all the blame on this city; a big part has to do with myself and my prevalent laziness as well. I kind of found a rut in which to drink and debauch. I kind of found myself in a stagnant atmosphere.

It’s easy to forget you’re in another country when other foreigners and friends surround you constantly. And as much as I love my friends from home sharing this experience with me, and as awful as this sounds, a very small part of me kind of wishes I ventured out on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I love them being here to death. I’ve had some amazing and unforgettable times with them and I’ve met some of the coolest people in the world because of them, but having them around kind of cheapens the deal. Maybe cheapens is too hard a word…more like, makes the venturing out on your own experience seem kind of less authentic, since I had friends here before I came, and had friends come after I arrived, and never really was on my own.

The best part about this is how I’ve been afforded the opportunity to explore other amazing countries. My life plan is highly contingent on whether or not I get into grad school. If I don’t, I don’t know what I’ll do. There’s a nagging part of me that says I should venture out again, in a whole new country, and do this again. Taiwan is one country I’d love to live in; I fell in love with everything it has to offer. The jobs in Toronto because of this so-called “bad economy” are non-existent, or so I hear from third-party sources. I don’t know. Stuff blah blah.

If it weren't for my friends with me in Busan, I would be having a worse time. If it weren't for my friends with me in Busan, I'd probably be living in Seoul.

This post is stopping too far in the selfishly negative side of the spectrum, and that’s not what its intent was. I’ll fix that.



*(She claims her type thinger is broken or something.)